I’m so impressed by Biden’s sharp handling of our economy so far. Kudos to our new president! He took the baton from Trump and ran with it. He’s raising our taxes so we can have better roads, new replaced bridges, and pipes replaced in our homes. He’s going to put thousands of charging stations along the freeways so we can charge our new electric Teslas. I’m so happy. He’s going to add a bonus to the unemployment checks so my son’s unemployed brother in law can continue living in their home. I’m so happy.
He’s letting immigrants into our country so their children can get a good education from our teachers that have not worked in a classroom for a year. He’s sending others across America so we can all be more tolerant of other races and hopefully they can vote by mail. I’m so happy. He stopped the building of that racist wall along our southern border and reinstated strict regulations on those pollution-spewing factories causing some to shut down. He stopped the construction of that hazardous Keystone pipeline but will allow them to work on abandoned coal mines or take computer coding classes! Marvelous.
He’s allowing transgenders back in the military so our country will look diversified if we get attacked by another country. He’s allowing them to join in with women in their sports so we can all feel equal. I’m so happy. He’s letting Twitter and Facebook have full control over who goes on their platform. Marvelous job. He’s reinstating the mask mandate across the nation for our safety! He’s keeping schools closed that can’t insure the safety of our teachers and children! He’s gotten back in with W.H.O. and China and letting them come to the conclusion of what went wrong with the China virus. How generous of him.
He’s endorsed two stimulus bills amounting to over a trillion each, one to reward all his loyal supporters and the current one to stop climate change! Together these will make us the strongest economy in the world! He also rejoined the Paris Accord which will let us pay more for gasoline to help climate change. Such economic foresight. So happy.
He’s allowing all the vaccines to be dispersed across America that were already planned to be dispersed. Great job. He’s guaranteeing 2 million vaccinated in 100 days. Amazing accomplishment! And he’s letting honorable Dr. Fauci take full credit for the expeditious research that led to the production of many vaccines. He’s allowing his rescue police dogs that have been behaving badly to stay on at the White house to show his respect for the police. Great job.
Lastly, he’s protecting the Capitol from those pesky white supremacists who are the biggest threat to America today. And he’s punishing all those conservative invaders of the Capitol on January 6th. So you see, Biden is doing a marvelous job so far!
APRIL FOOLS! ;>)
UPDATED: Although April is long gone and this post was from over a year ago, I thought I’d continue with more of his marvelous accomplishments! He has begun to allow schools to secretly help children question their biological gender. Marvelous! Saves parents from that embarrassing conversation! He’s also condoning schools to teach children how being white is a priviledge and blacks are the suppressed race. Very good to enlighten them with this knowledge at such a young age. What a great unifier!
Since this original post, Russia has invaded Ukraine and he has sent billions of our hard-earned taxpayer money to help with this unnecessary war that he had no inkling would escalate. We also pulled our troops out of Afghanistan in such a timely manner, almost on the 20 year anniversary of 9-11! What a brilliant idea! And he promised to hunt down whoever planned the suicide bomber attack on our troops. And he generously left behind billions in weaponry for those that will need it to continue fighting without our involvement. How nice!
He also allowed his FBI to raid Trump’s house seeking documents that could link Hillary to colluding with the FBI prior to the 2016 election. Way to keep the FBI’s business private and out of the hands of that pesky media like when Comey leaked a memo to the press. Trump could have done the same! Way to prevent that from happening!
And lastly, his open border has spurned governors of Red States to send these poor migrants farther than originally planned into our sanctuary cities where they will be welcomed with open arms! I’m so happy. The migrants are happy too. Nothing like feeling welcome in a strange, new land. I’m sure they will take them into their homes and find them jobs.
So you see, he is doing such a marvelous job! We may even get to go to war with China in order to protect Taiwan! Can’t wait for this! And he suddenly ended the pandemic with one statement! Marvelous!
September Fools ;>)