Biden Pledges to Ban all Sharp Keychains Next.

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Now that sharp keychains are being used for attempted murder by our opponents, it’s time to ban all sharp plastic keychains! Even sick ol’ cancer-covid-ridden Biden can rule from his bed that “sharp plastic keychains will no longer be allowed in public! We will stop and frisk key carrying individuals that enter a campaign rally! Enough is enough! Not a joke! This ends now!”

I’m spoofing, of course. But it was an assault weapon capable of murder which proves that all the gun laws in the world won’t stop a deranged person from violence. But why was the suspect released back on the street after an attempted murder of Lee Zeldin? If it was a Democrat campaigning, the suspect would be hung from the nearest tree, no doubt. But they always cut and release deranged Democrats back out on the street to kill someone else.

New York Gov. Kathy Hochul encouraged her supporters to confront Republican challenger Rep. Lee Zeldin on his “far-right agenda” hours before a man wielding a knife tried to attack Zeldin at a campaign stop.” NWO Report. Well…didn’t she incite violence? Didn’t she put the sharp keychain in the hands of a lunatic with her rhetoric? That’s what they are accusing Trump of doing. Didn’t her court system release him back on the streets to do more harm? Will there be a July 21st Commission on her? Of course, not; she’s a Democrat.

Democrats are above the law and can get away with murder. “It’s not what they do, it’s that they know they can get away with it.” Law & Order SVU. Look at the Clintons. Does anyone remember the unsolved deaths of Seth Rich, Ashlee Babbitt, Jeff Epstein, Ron Brown, Vince Foster, Christopher Stevens, Officer Sicknick, Justice Scalia, Marilyn Monroe, Seal Team Six, or Mary Jo Kopechne? All suspicious deaths. All committed and covered up by Democrats, most likely. And none of them investigated properly or thoroughly.

Only Republicans can incite violence, right? Only Republicans start insurrections, right? And Republicans do not demand answers from the Democrats after someone dies suspiciously. We let them get away with too much. Aren’t we tired of this already? When will we hold our own Commission or appoint a Special Counsel Probe? When will we hold Impeachment Hearings? We never do. We just turn the other cheek to get slapped again.

Check List for Biden’s Accomplishments FOR DUMMIES.

Books For Dummies: A Key to Information

President Biden has accomplished so much in such a short time! Here’s a list of his accomplishments that the media may have overlooked:

In no particular order:

  1. Biden has increased the vocabulary of the general public by five words: Hyperbole, existential threat, systemic, autocratic, and resilient. After all, he uses these words in every teleprompter address together with phrases like “not a joke,” “come on, man,” and “I’ll get in trouble.”
  2. Increased public awareness of mental decline of seniors and donations to the Alzheimer’s Association.
  3. Unified parents of school age children to lose respect for public education and the FBI.
  4. Unified the public to lose respect for the art of painting and the FBI.
  5. Unified the public to lose respect for our commanders and The Pentagon.
  6. Brought realization to the public of the liberal bias of several news networks and social media.
  7. Brought realization to the public that President Trump really was Making America Great, not just saying a campaign slogan. And that The Wall and his policies really worked.
  8. Increased the viewership of Newsmax, Gutfeld, Bill Maher’s show, and the movies The Truman Show, Capricorn One, Outbreak, and Wag the Dog.
  9. Increased the sale of guns, fences, security systems, mace, safes, drugs, and alcohol.
  10. Increased the number of students interested in careers in set directing, stage managers, and sound and lighting engineers. They have a future in D.C.

All good stuff, right? Anytime you can unify people on anything or increase public awareness of anything, that’s an accomplishment. He did promise to unite America; still looking for the promise of dignity and civility, but all in good time. Amazing what he did in such a short time.

Stay tuned. Still compiling the rest of his list of accomplishments. It will take some time.

UPDATED:

Found a few more accomplishments:

11. Unified the people into missing $1.80 a gallon for gasoline.

12. Increased the popularity of the name “Brandon” across the globe.

13. Made “soccer moms and momma bears” as popular as it was in the Bill Clinton era.

14. Made “sleeping through a meeting or seminar” acceptable again.

15. Increased the sale of Depends for seniors.

UPDATED: Due to the monotony of the news lately. Yes, we knew the Cuomo Brothers were in cahoots. Big whoop!

16. Made the “vaccine mandates and discrimination of the unvaccinated” the closest thing to Communism since we fought Communism. Way to bring back the past.

17. Gave new meaning to the phrase “follow the Science.” We’re not sure what it is, but we love alternative meanings to old, boring phrases.

18. Made an investigative reporter for the New York Post a millionaire with the sale of her latest book about his son, Hunter. We love making people millionaires! Keep it up Biden!

19. Got Russia bullying Ukraine, China bullying Taiwan, and Kamala bullying her staff. Made bullying popular, finally. Way to go Biden.

20. Got men beating women in sports! Yahoo! What an accomplishment! He’ll go down in history for making men equal to women. Way to go. Men have had an uphill struggle for years.