President Biden has accomplished so much in such a short time! Here’s a list of his accomplishments that the media may have overlooked:
In no particular order:
- Biden has increased the vocabulary of the general public by five words: Hyperbole, existential threat, systemic, autocratic, and resilient. After all, he uses these words in every teleprompter address together with phrases like “not a joke,” “come on, man,” and “I’ll get in trouble.”
- Increased public awareness of mental decline of seniors and donations to the Alzheimer’s Association.
- Unified parents of school age children to lose respect for public education and the FBI.
- Unified the public to lose respect for the art of painting and the FBI.
- Unified the public to lose respect for our commanders and The Pentagon.
- Brought realization to the public of the liberal bias of several news networks and social media.
- Brought realization to the public that President Trump really was Making America Great, not just saying a campaign slogan. And that The Wall and his policies really worked.
- Increased the viewership of Newsmax, Gutfeld, Bill Maher’s show, and the movies The Truman Show, Capricorn One, Outbreak, and Wag the Dog.
- Increased the sale of guns, fences, security systems, mace, safes, drugs, and alcohol.
- Increased the number of students interested in careers in set directing, stage managers, and sound and lighting engineers. They have a future in D.C.
All good stuff, right? Anytime you can unify people on anything or increase public awareness of anything, that’s an accomplishment. He did promise to unite America; still looking for the promise of dignity and civility, but all in good time. Amazing what he did in such a short time.
Stay tuned. Still compiling the rest of his list of accomplishments. It will take some time.
Found a few more accomplishments:
11. Unified the people into missing $1.80 a gallon for gasoline.
12. Increased the popularity of the name “Brandon” across the globe.
13. Made “soccer moms and momma bears” as popular as it was in the Bill Clinton era.
14. Made “sleeping through a meeting or seminar” acceptable again.
15. Increased the sale of Depends for seniors.
UPDATED: Due to the monotony of the news lately. Yes, we knew the Cuomo Brothers were in cahoots. Big whoop!
16. Made the “vaccine mandates and discrimination of the unvaccinated” the closest thing to Communism since we fought Communism. Way to bring back the past.
17. Gave new meaning to the phrase “follow the Science.” We’re not sure what it is, but we love alternative meanings to old, boring phrases.
18. Made an investigative reporter for the New York Post a millionaire with the sale of her latest book about his son, Hunter. We love making people millionaires! Keep it up Biden!
19. Got Russia bullying Ukraine, China bullying Taiwan, and Kamala bullying her staff. Made bullying popular, finally. Way to go Biden.
20. Got men beating women in sports! Yahoo! What an accomplishment! He’ll go down in history for making men equal to women. Way to go. Men have had an uphill struggle for years.